surprise! you're already collaborating

today was kinda a lame day in some ways. fire drills early in the morning, and I ended up telling my residents the wrong place to go/I wasn't there myself, and then seeing everyone in their pajamas is sometimes not as fun as a sleepover.

and I realized that my computer, which had a small accident last night when some old cd holder thing fell on the keyboard, now has three keys missing/ Ipulled them off in an effort to fix it (don't worry they're in a bag ready to be fixed tomorrow hopefully by the diagnostic center). I never knew how many times I used the "t" "f" and "c" keys. I have to type slower and more carefully now. and maybe stop using the words "retrospective" and "farty McCain" and "factoid" and "fictitious"

ok but despite all my pent up grouchy-ness, I received TWO pieces of mail art today!! how amazing is that!? A few weeks ago (a week?) I got an email from my friend and Elsewherian resident artist from this summer, Claire vdp. and she invited me to make some art with her -- post apocalyptic, entropy, physics, particles, something. And she's gotten this opportunity to display it in a gallery in New Zealand (where she's from) in December (or October? I can't remember). ANYWAYS. I had said yes (of course) and then kinda forgot about it. And suddenly, I'm a part of this thing! So I called her up (so good to hear your voice claire!) and read up on the blog post-discussions they'd been having without me, and realized that I'm now a part of this mail-art start of a collaboration between me and a bunch of other current and past Elsewherians!! I'm so excited. This is just what I needed. Something to start, something to get me out of "my div 3 must be so significant and important!" so wow! I can't wait. glad to be making my way out of that funk...

also, something claire posted on her blog that I really liked:
"Loneliness is ok if it can be parlayed into poetry or art. Otherwise it is just something we fear and don't want to talk about"

Today I was also talking to Haley after our class (argh. so frustrating. BUT. we talked to the professor and asked for some way to be more challenged, have a more in-depth conversation, and so now we have an extra hour after class with her once a week! Haley and I are going to pounce on that, and do super-facilitation and get some awesome dialogs going on. Start next thursday). We talked about frustrations with justifying (to others but also a lot to ourselves) what we do a "community artists", and how hard it is sometimes because it's not like we have a "medium" in a traditional sense, or a "portfolio" that's really easy to look at. Also, where do we fit into the world? And why is this not appreciated more? And like a super high paying world renowned job??

It was funny (but not) and weird (but not really) hearing her say that she's feeling down or not sure what she's doing is the best thing ever because I admire her and her work so much! It makes so much sense to me and I am constantly happy that Haley is in my life so we can bounce ideas and make sense to each other. I guess it's like a doubt-mirror thing. I don't know what that means but I mean that I know I get really critical of myself a lot, and think whatever I'm doing is shit. But of course there's always someone out there who would be surprised to hear me say that. Because they admire my work.

anyways. not to wrap things up so neatly at the end of every post.

I just got back from checking the art barn and I got a space! It's one of the more front-spaces though, instead of the back wall with more walls, so kinda my second choice. I feel good though, because Greg called me up and so we talked, and he said he wanted to give me a good space, one of the biggest spaces, "handing you the keys to the cadillac" if I wanted it, but I said no, because I really wanted to be on the side of the barn with all the other Div 3 spaces, you know, with the people. cause of all that community stuff I talk about. So it's not my first choice, but I do get to be neighbors with my pal Micah, who's pretty great. AND, Thom and Greg (faculty advisers) had a meeting today to see who was going to take which Div3s on/ be on their committee, and Greg said both of them wanted to be on my committee! They love me!!

So basically, this post is a mash up of emotions and things because that's what I'm feeling lately. I'm going to move into my studio space this weekend, and finish my Div2 portfolio, and make some art. yesssss. and maybe shower.