I mailed an eggplant and ended up with a ganoush-off

made 8 pieces of mail art this weekend. i realize now that I over did it-- the collaborative project was to keep adding to things, so I didn't have to make one for everyone, just a few and get them circulating. oh well. what else is new. "ALIYA DOES MORE THAN SHE HAD TO DO, STAYS UP LATE, AND IN THE END MAYBE MAYBE KARMA WILL CATCH UP, BUT PROBABLY NOT."

the other day, to make myself feel bad, I calculated the difference between my sent mail box and my inbox. it was 1480 messages. that means I love everyone else 1480 messages more than they love me. (someone later pointed out to me that I probably delete a lot of emails, right? well, whatever. that messes up my perfect equation of how much the world isn't fair)

This is the kind of thing you're supposed to make art about, right? loneliness? feeling like the world is screwing you over? flipping the bird to the man? I'm not sure how. it always comes out cheesy. Greg told me I just need to stick with something for now, so I don't get stuck, just pick up where I left off, even if that's not totally the direction I want to take my work now. So I'll stick with mail art and finally finish those worn-wire-fabric-shells. And then probably make some more cocoons. cause I'm addicted to cocoons (see almost all previous artwork).

Also, tonight I was officially announced as the baba-ganoush queen of club 66. After an official blind taste test with 4 unbiased judges, it was unanimously decided that my "zesty" and "zippy" "weekend and evening" baba-ganoush reigned supreme over Emily's more "weekday" "eggplant-y" "mild" ganoush. But, all agreed that both are good for different occasions.

surprise! you're already collaborating

today was kinda a lame day in some ways. fire drills early in the morning, and I ended up telling my residents the wrong place to go/I wasn't there myself, and then seeing everyone in their pajamas is sometimes not as fun as a sleepover.

and I realized that my computer, which had a small accident last night when some old cd holder thing fell on the keyboard, now has three keys missing/ Ipulled them off in an effort to fix it (don't worry they're in a bag ready to be fixed tomorrow hopefully by the diagnostic center). I never knew how many times I used the "t" "f" and "c" keys. I have to type slower and more carefully now. and maybe stop using the words "retrospective" and "farty McCain" and "factoid" and "fictitious"

ok but despite all my pent up grouchy-ness, I received TWO pieces of mail art today!! how amazing is that!? A few weeks ago (a week?) I got an email from my friend and Elsewherian resident artist from this summer, Claire vdp. and she invited me to make some art with her -- post apocalyptic, entropy, physics, particles, something. And she's gotten this opportunity to display it in a gallery in New Zealand (where she's from) in December (or October? I can't remember). ANYWAYS. I had said yes (of course) and then kinda forgot about it. And suddenly, I'm a part of this thing! So I called her up (so good to hear your voice claire!) and read up on the blog post-discussions they'd been having without me, and realized that I'm now a part of this mail-art start of a collaboration between me and a bunch of other current and past Elsewherians!! I'm so excited. This is just what I needed. Something to start, something to get me out of "my div 3 must be so significant and important!" so wow! I can't wait. glad to be making my way out of that funk...

also, something claire posted on her blog that I really liked:
"Loneliness is ok if it can be parlayed into poetry or art. Otherwise it is just something we fear and don't want to talk about"

Today I was also talking to Haley after our class (argh. so frustrating. BUT. we talked to the professor and asked for some way to be more challenged, have a more in-depth conversation, and so now we have an extra hour after class with her once a week! Haley and I are going to pounce on that, and do super-facilitation and get some awesome dialogs going on. Start next thursday). We talked about frustrations with justifying (to others but also a lot to ourselves) what we do a "community artists", and how hard it is sometimes because it's not like we have a "medium" in a traditional sense, or a "portfolio" that's really easy to look at. Also, where do we fit into the world? And why is this not appreciated more? And like a super high paying world renowned job??

It was funny (but not) and weird (but not really) hearing her say that she's feeling down or not sure what she's doing is the best thing ever because I admire her and her work so much! It makes so much sense to me and I am constantly happy that Haley is in my life so we can bounce ideas and make sense to each other. I guess it's like a doubt-mirror thing. I don't know what that means but I mean that I know I get really critical of myself a lot, and think whatever I'm doing is shit. But of course there's always someone out there who would be surprised to hear me say that. Because they admire my work.

anyways. not to wrap things up so neatly at the end of every post.

I just got back from checking the art barn and I got a space! It's one of the more front-spaces though, instead of the back wall with more walls, so kinda my second choice. I feel good though, because Greg called me up and so we talked, and he said he wanted to give me a good space, one of the biggest spaces, "handing you the keys to the cadillac" if I wanted it, but I said no, because I really wanted to be on the side of the barn with all the other Div 3 spaces, you know, with the people. cause of all that community stuff I talk about. So it's not my first choice, but I do get to be neighbors with my pal Micah, who's pretty great. AND, Thom and Greg (faculty advisers) had a meeting today to see who was going to take which Div3s on/ be on their committee, and Greg said both of them wanted to be on my committee! They love me!!

So basically, this post is a mash up of emotions and things because that's what I'm feeling lately. I'm going to move into my studio space this weekend, and finish my Div2 portfolio, and make some art. yesssss. and maybe shower.

my division 3 project in one word sentences.

interactive.
sculpture.
installation.
community.
collaboration.
social.
engaged.
collection.
story.
memory.
sharing.
active listening.
spaces.
tactile.
sewn.
fabric.
organic shapes.
worn.
living in the real world.
bodily.

1:23am

modmates waltz in with crowns.
chai tea (tea tea says yash)
the egg casserole is waiting in lil' sassy
(for the breakfast crew)
fire-hazard art is waiting in the living room
(for the fire drills)
my projects are waitingunfinished
but the piles are waitingbeautifulready
early bird and night owl
i can never choose one but
123 is my favorite time of night

classes

today I had my first Div 3 arts concentrators seminar. and I felt all mixed. First, I looked around the room and was really confused. Why are all these people that I love and have taken all my other art classes with not here now??? And then I realized it... they graduated. damn it. my mentors are gone!!! So then I looked around and realized, ok, yes, some of these people are my people... kids who have been in my art classes since Sculpture Tutorial and familiar faces I trust and admire their work. So that was good. I just have to open up my eyes to new people and, more importantly, people I've made haisty judgements about. SO, aliya, open your freaking eyes a little. I made a guide this summer about "How not to hate" and sometimes I'm really bad at following it.
I also have to be super-optimistic about my other class, "Art, Community, and Cultural Diversity". Today in class the teacher showed a movie and people started whispering loudly to each other about nothing like it was HIGH SCHOOL. geeze. But, on the bus back to hampshire, me and three other Hampshire kids in the class had our own small, "Advanced 397BB" class and talked about how we were going to make this great whether it was heading that way or not. so I feel optimistic.

Despite feeling down right now, I am feeling good. it's lovely being Div 3. I love the idea of really putting my all into one project and making it for real awesome. The thing is that right now I feel behind, and lost, and confused because I don't have everything worked out or ironed out or even talked about. AHHHHHH!!!!

By thursday I'll (hopefully) have a studio space in the art barn so I can start having an excuse to just start making work. Instead of just thinking about it so much. Or sending out emails and then being annoyed when I don't receive them back right away. One idea I had was to make my studio space into a part "listening booth" and build a fort or something cool in there that would be a semi-permanent installation. And I'd have a sign up sheet next to it, and anyone could come sign up for it and I'd listen to them for half an hour. Like an on-going experiment in active listening.

Last night we had our first mod meeting and talked about so many awesome things. I have the most adorable mod ever. I made everyone take a family portrait, first in height order, and then pretending we're all friends. or in a sitcom show. It was a really great night. which makes me feel stupid when I start missing the groups and people and places I'm not in. So I'm going to focus on the people I have here right now.

how are you?
I'm great - never been better!
toyboatoyboatoyboat.
goodnight lovely readers.

36 ideas in one day

The school year is off! Starting today I came up with 36 ideas for my Division 3 in two hours. My goal is 50 by noon tomorrow.

I'm taking a class at Umass, "Art, Community, and Cultural Diversity" which I'm pretty excited about. I think it will give me a good background in writing grants and presenting myself as a community artist and getting funding for my projects, as well as discussing how to responsibly engage with the communities I'm working with. I hope the fact that it's a "communications" course instead of an art course will be great, and challenging. I'm hoping that the emphasis on community involvement and real-life application that the professor said was key to the course really is key!

I'm settling into school and getting ready for an exciting year. My room is set up and I'll hopefully be moving into the art barn soon, and making the living room area of my house more live-able instead of junk-piled. Check back soon for more cohesive and content-filled posts. Right now I'm feeling too overpowered by the impressive amounts of balloons from the Republican National Convention.