going to new haampshhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiire (part 2).

*******************************

And then it's time to go! I pull into a drive-in starbucks which is huge (I think it was a denny's previously). I cannot figure out what to get. I want something with the words "pumpkin spice" and "mocha" and "coffee" in it. For some reason, this creates a lot of confusion. also, I dont want milk. but in the end, i say, yeah, a little milk please. The guy on the speaker is unbelievably patient for a saturday night. At the next window, we talk about life, and our futures, and following your passion, not whatever you think will make you a lot of money, and i feel good about life in general, and people who inhabit it.

The roads at night in new england are just as lovely as in the day. I see stars, and trees, and no one is around to flash their headlights in my mirrors, causing me to be jealous of their really shiny and newer headlights that work, as opposed to the kinda-bright lights on my car. I feel protected because the car I am driving first was my grandparents, then went to texas (and is protected by the texas sticker still on it's windshield), then it came to florida where my dad drove it and went to yoga a lot and told us to wipe our hands on our pants, not the car seats. I feel happy to be driving home, and to have friends so many places that love me. I feel happy that I'm not getting lost. I feel happy to make forts and cocoons for my Div 3 because I like making homes. I feel ok that I don't know where "I'm from" because I can make a new home somewhere else. I feel increasingly jittery and silly and smile-y and less-imminently-tired as I drink the coffee concoction, which tastes kinda like pumpkin rinds, really really sweet stuff, and a tiny bit like coffee. it's kinda good actually.

i see roadkill. it's really really big. and steaming. like freshly killed. it scares me, gives me the jitters. I can't believe how sad it makes me feel.

I realize my inner DJ is telling me, "mountain goats" and I'm like, "totes brillz!" So I put on the mountain goats and it is the perfect music for my drive. As I get closer to home, I realize that I really need to listen to "going to georgia" which is the song which first introduced me to the mountain goats, by two high school friends, after high school, at some slightly awkward but awesome reunion, and i realized i really loved them. I can still imagine them singing this song whenever I hear it. So I started getting really into this song, and replaying it. about 14 times in a row. really. that many times. And every time we (me and the mountain goats) got to this part of the song, I had to yell it, not just sing it. yell it:

the most remarkable thing about coming home to you is the feeling of being in motion again.
its the most extraordinary thing in the world.

i have two big hands and heart pumping blood
and a 1967 colt
45
with a busted safety catch.

the world shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiines
as i cross the macon
county line
going to georgiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

the most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway
IS THAT IT'S YOU.
AND THAT YOU'RE STANDING. IN THE DOORWAY.
and you smile as you ease the gun from my hand
and i'm
frozen with joy
right where i stand
the world throws it's light underneath your hair
40 miles from atlanta
this is
.
nooowhere

goin' to georgiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

the world SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINESSSS
as i CROSS THE MACON COUNTY LINE
going to georgiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.


I am home. I drop my stuff, grab my painted broken gigantic boom box which is my made up instrument, and head over to my friends mod. He is having a birthday party. yesterday, he let me be in his band for hampshire halloween, a real gig with actual people, even though I do not play a real instrument. I played this pretend instrument. The "gingleschlopperfindlesphiel". Last night no one could hear the instrument (because actually, it doesn't make any noises) Tonight I was going to sing him a birthday song on this instrument.

I get to the house and begin to preform. I organized the antenna, and suddenly, the instrument works! It makes noises very much like me singing and humming! I am so hyped up on no sleep and caffeine I am laughing the whole time and my song is in a very high pitch. It's a really lovely song. about david letting me be in his band, and about his cool mutton-chops, and about how i'm glad we are friends. and how this song was much better when I was thinking about it on my ride home. and david and everyone else loved it.

and so now i'm home. in my bed. about to sleep a full nights sleep for the first time all week. and then i can freak out about work tomorrow. everytime i move i feel queezy from that coffee and sleepy headachey blech. i think my hands are shaking for the same reason and can't really type correctly. but in general i'm shaking from excitement.

I'm sorry this post was so long and ramble-y. you can skip it if you are bored. or just think i'm a lame-o for crying so much today. or just go vote for obama instead of thinking any of those things. i hope you are all having a great night, and that you someday get to preform a song on the gingleschnorperhopensplinkertink while crazy on caffeine.

In conclusion, today was very much about my division three work: i created community all over the freaking place, and interacted with all these people in ways i never would have otherwise.

thank you all for your support everywhere (thank you dad).
aliya